It Takes a Village

Deciding whether to call a professional to help you with your child is not an easy decision.  Many parents feel shameful and insecure and often don’t discuss the challenges of raising their children with anyone within their circle of support (if they have one).  It takes a village to raise a child, an old African proverb continues to be prevalent today because it is not always easy to know how to help your child with some of their emotional or developmental challenges.

Child Psychotherapy is not just for children and families who have experienced HUGE traumas or losses.  Child Psychotherapists can help parents navigate most everyday parenting challenges, such as sleeping and eating issues, school challenges and social and emotional glitches.

6-year-old Annie was a healthy, happy little girl until her family moved early in the summer into a new neighbourhood and house.  She knew that she would be attending a new school in September, and that worried her, but she didn’t say anything to anyone about it.  Her parents began to notice that Annie was becoming easily agitated and impatient, cried more easily and began to have large meltdowns over simple little issues – which was not generally how Annie behaved.  When they tried to talk to her about it, Annie couldn’t verbalize what was bothering her, which is very common for children.  Children experience many emotions, but many don’t have the insight or emotional maturity to identify what is causing their inner turmoil….their emotions take over, and thus behaviours arise, perhaps even other signs appear, such as changes in sleep and eating patterns.

Although they weren’t exactly sure what was causing Annie to present this way, they suspected that Annie was experiencing some anxiety about starting school in September and perhaps grieving the home, neighbourhood and friends they had moved away from.  They called Family First to consult with a Child Psychotherapist.  After reviewing their concerns, the therapist and parents agreed that a few play therapy sessions for Annie would be beneficial. The treatment plan included a combination of a few Evidence-based interventions:

  • Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to help Annie learn about her feelings and learn positive techniques to control her emotions.

  • Sandtray Therapy allowed Annie to create scenarios in the sand by using small life-representative figures and symbols, which would help her to externalize some of her life experiences and the emotions attached to them. Sandtray also helps to release any unconscious experiences that may be causing her to feel more anxious or worried.

  • Theraplay® – Simple strategies guided by the therapist include the parent during this segment. This portion of the session takes place during the last 10-15 minutes and aims to help the child feel supported by the parent(s) by promoting attunement, co-regulation and nurture-filled activities.  It also helps the parent(s) learn parenting strategies to help them soothe Annie’s stress responses.

Annie attended a total of 4 sessions to help her sort through her emotions. Once school started, she started to make new friends, and she began to express herself in healthier ways.  As well, Annie’s parents felt more confident in how to help her with age-appropriate responses.  A few sessions went a long way toward building this family’s confidence and emotional resiliency.

Play Therapy can be a useful support for children and parents. The saying ‘It takes a Village to raise a child’ may have been an old African proverb, but it holds such wisdom which can be applied to today’s family challenges  – big or small – and one that parents should not feel ashamed about.

Lorie Walton

Lorie Walton, M.Ed., RP, is a Certified Play Therapist Supervisor and Theraplay® Therapist Trainer Supervisor. She owns Family First Play Therapy Center Inc., in Bradford, Ontario, where children and families experiencing attachment issues and emotional trauma receive therapeutic support. She is also the Executive Director of Theraplay Canada, is Past-President of the Canadian Association for Child and Play Therapy (CACPT), and continues to be an active member within the Theraplay and Play Therapy community. She received the 2009 Monica Herbert Award from CACPT in recognition of her commitment to Child Psychotherapy Play Therapy growth and support across Canada.

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A First Step to Managing Emotional Regulation

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Developing Attachments Through Play